Even when someone hopes your knees break...

I had this class with a good friend of mine named Kaylen. I'm so glad I did, because if I hadn't there would be no one to share this experience with me.

It was Principles and Theories of Psychotherapy. What it was about didn't really matter. What mattered was that we sat next to each other and mutually hated the generally mind numbing hour and a half of the class. One day we were sitting in class watching a video of a patient and therapist. Through the conversation over his fear of confrontation the therapist said, "Just imagine me being there to give you a gentle, loving kick in the pants." Weird. I know. When our professor repeated it, it got even weirder.

So from that day on, whenever we were studying..or not studying. Or having a rough day, or threatening to avoid the whole world for a while one would text the other and say, "Just imagine me being there to give you a gentle, loving kick in the pants." If it did nothing besides giving both of us a good mid-day giggle, it still helped.


I have another good friend. Her name is Erin.

Erin is honest to a fault, but one of the most caring, most helpful, most willing to serve people I have ever been around. With all of those things being said. Sometimes we would run together.

Now you have to understand, I usually asked her to go with me. And she usually did.. just for me.
I honestly HATE running. I talk about it all nice and stuff to try to convince myself that it's not the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I still don't like it. And she knew I probably wouldn't go without her. And due to our mutual desire to be healthy, profitable individuals....

We would run.

And by run, I mean a slow jog. If I were to jog at my pace in public, I would literally get run over by those old lady power walkers. (Particularly the ones in the Enid mall) But we would do it just the same.

Erin would match my pace. The same events happen every time we run together.


It goes like this:

Block one: I say out loud: Wow! This was a great idea. We are going to feel so good when we finish. Thank you Erin for running with me.
Block two: I'm getting tired. Let's stop now.
Block three: I'm stopping now. (Usually an empty threat at this point.)


*To both of these comments Erin would reply, No Allyson, we have to keep going. in a nice voice. Then she may or may not start to ignore me.

Block four: I almost stop talking. I have to conserve my breath in order to not die.
After a few more blocks: I completely stop talking, and hoping that she won't notice I usually stop running too.

*She ALWAYS notices.

It is at this point that she runs back to me LITERALLY holds my hand and drags me for a few blocks. I complain the whole time: Erin you are hurting me! Erin you are embarrassing me! Erin you have to stop! Erin I PROMISE I will start running again if you just let go! Erin my knee caps are going to break if you drag me any farther! Erin...Erin.. ERIN!! (My voice may or may not get screechier with every sentence, by the end it might be a whole octave higher than what dogs can hear.)

Finally she lets me go after at least 17 people have seen us running down the street holding hands like fools.

Then we start running normally again. It is usually at this point that I start to hate her a little. I start with little things. I hope that she hurts as bad as I do and we can slow down. Then I start hoping that she will trip and fall and we would have no other choice but to walk back home. Then I start hoping that she will trip and fall and it will be so bad we would have to call someone to come get us and drive us back home. Soon I start hoping that both of her knees will break and she can never run again.

* I would NEVER EVER actually want any of these things to happen, I am just trying to explain the mental hate I have for running. When I am running it turns into mental hate for Erin. I love Erin and I will always run with her. She also knows all the bad things I think about her when we run together. (And being the saint that she is, she still always runs with me.)

When I get quiet for a while, Erin usually realizes that my mind is now at the quietly hating her stage so she talks to me to help. She asks me how I am doing. My response? I'm dying.

Erin: Oh? You are dying?
Me: Yes.
Erin: That's too bad Allyson. What hurts?
Me: Everything
Erin: Okay. Do your lungs hurt? Do your muscles hurt? Do your joints hurt?
Me: My lungs hurt because I can't breathe. And of course my muscles and joints hurt. I'm in pain.
Erin: What kind of pain Allyson?
Me: Agonizing.
Erin: That's not a pain descriptor, Allyson. Is your pain: shooting, burning, throbbing...?
Me: Erin. Its agggonizing.
Erin: Okay... on a scale of one to ten how bad is it?
Me: Ten!

*Okay everyone, except for me the moment I say it, knows that this isn't true. It's just the running hate that speaks for me.

So then Erin changes the subject.

Erin: Allyson. This is good for your lungs.
Me: I hate my lungs.
Erin: Allyson. This is good for your body.
Me: I hate my body. I just wanna be fat and happy.

Shortly after this is when Erin gets tired of my crap.

Erin: ALLYSON. MY MOM CAN RUN FASTER THAN YOU AND SHE DOESN'T COMPLAIN NEARLY AS MUCH AS YOU DO, SO GET.IT.TOGETHER.

*All of those words were true. I have no doubt that her mother could out run me. Her mother is one of those real-life heroes, at least to me.

So, I suck it up. I complain a little less. And shortly our run is over.


I tell you both of these stories because they make me happy. They help me through a rough day. They get my butt motivated to put on my running shoes and then push myself knowing that I am lucky to have the ability to run, even though I hate it.

I also tell you this because if you have a Kaylen or an Erin in your life, tell them thank you. If you are a Kaylen or an Erin, don't give up even when someone hopes your knees break, because whether they say it or not, they appreciate you.